{"id":66624,"date":"2022-05-17T19:21:10","date_gmt":"2022-05-17T17:21:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sanejoker.info\/?p=66624"},"modified":"2022-05-18T17:12:07","modified_gmt":"2022-05-18T15:12:07","slug":"last-spring","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sanejoker.info\/en\/2022\/05\/last-spring.html","title":{"rendered":"Last Spring"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"\u0391\u03c5\u03c4\u03ae<\/strong><\/p>\n

‘Death is a continuation of my life without me\u2019<\/strong>
\nJean-Paul Sartre<\/p>\n

\u2018I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens\u2019<\/strong>
\nWoody Allen<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

Depression<\/strong><\/p>\n

He went to order his birthday cake.
\n\u201cLemon pie with chocolate? Are you sure?\u201d the employee at the patisserie wanted to make sure as if somebody had asked for a roasted Pangolin.
\n\u201cWhy, is it forbidden?\u201d
\n\u201cNo, it\u2019s just they don\u2019t mix too good\u2026\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019ll dump it anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n

The employee jotted down the taste. Then he asked if he wished a picture on the cake.
\n\u201cYes, why not? Put the picture of the chief breaking the ward\u2019s window heading off to Canada.\u201d<\/p>\n

The employee remained composed. He had listened to innumerable absurdities all these years.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll have to bring the picture in a USB stick.\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s from a movie. One Flew Over the Cuckoo\u2019s Nest.\u201d
\n\u201cYes, but we just can\u2019t browse movies.\u201d
\n\u201cPut something else then.\u201d
\n\u201cLike what?\u201d
\n\u201cA drinking fountain.\u201d
\n\u201cYou\u2019ll have to bring the picture in a USB stick.\u201d
\n\u201cPut something you have; anything will do.\u201d
\n\u201cWould you like Ariel?\u201d asked the employee.
\n\u201cThe detergent?\u201d
\n\u201cNo, the mermaid.\u201d
\n\u201cFuck it. The mermaid will do.\u201d<\/p>\n

He went to buy suited tableware, dishes, glasses and stuff like that.<\/p>\n

\u201cI want mermaid plates and glasses.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man in charge there browsed the glasses.<\/p>\n

\u201dWe have nothing in the way of mermaids, only princesses and unicorns.\u201d
\n\u201cIs there maybe something else sea-related?\u201d
\n\u201cOnly seafood at the section with frozen food.\u201d
\n\u201cWith unicorns then. Same shit with mermaids.\u201d<\/p>\n

He set the table. He lit the candles. First, he sang the song in English.
\n\u201cHappy birthday to me.\u201d
\nThen in Chinese.
\n\u201cChin-chan-chon-chan-chin-chon.\u201d<\/p>\n

He thought that this is a very racist song. He cut a big slice which included the head of the mermaid and ate it down to the last crumb. He took the rest of the cake along with the unicorn set and went out to toss them in the trash.<\/p>\n

Great. That was his last birthday. Alone. He would die in six months. Alone, too.<\/p>\n

~~{}~~<\/p>\n

When the doctor told him that he had cancer, he was relieved.
\n\u201cNot bad, I thought it was something worse.\u201d
\n\u201cSomething worse? Mr. Finikidis, I think the severity of the situation escapes you.\u201d<\/p>\n

He explained him seriously the severity of the situation. Lung cancer, stage four.
\n\u201cI don\u2019t smoke\u201d said Mr. X.
\n\u201cIt happens sometimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

He had been negligent in dealing with the chest pains. Metastases had developed. If he underwent chemotherapy, he would live for a couple of years.
\n\u201cAny chance for a full recovery?\u201d
\n\u201cOnly by a miracle.\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m an atheist.\u201d
\n\u201cTherefore we can exclude the miracle, too.\u201d<\/p>\n

In another time, in another place, they would have a good laugh.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I undergo no therapy at all?\u201d
\n\u201cSix months.\u201d
\n\u201cGreat.\u201d<\/p>\n

He left without making clear what exactly was great. He didn\u2019t pay the doctor. He said he would send an e-payment, but he wouldn\u2019t give him a dime. Since he could be of no help, what should he be paid for?<\/p>\n

On his way to his ex\u2019s house he was thinking that he didn\u2019t care one iota. His life was a pendulum swinging between boredom and ennui. What had he achieved? Nothing. What was he anticipating? Nothing; not even resurrection of the dead.<\/p>\n

His ex opened the door.
\n\u201cI have something to tell you\u201d, he told her at the door.<\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t get round to do so. A crazed seventeen-year-old with blue hair fell all over him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDaddy, daddy, I want to go to Korea!\u201d
\n\u201cHave your share\u201d said the ex and went to the kitchen.
\n\u201cNorth or South?\u201d
\n\u201cWhy, is there two of them? I don\u2019t know!\u201d
\n\u201cWhat do you want to do?\u201d
\n\u201cBecome a pop star.\u201d
\n\u201cSouth then, for sure.\u201d<\/p>\n

They went to kitchen. The daughter was talking about a song and dance School in Seoul, the best in the world.<\/p>\n

\u201cAsk her how much does it cost\u201d the ex told him.
\n\u201cHow much does it cost?\u201d asked X.
\n\u201cFifteen thousand.\u201d
\n\u201cEuros or Korean currency?\u201d
\n\u201cDollars\u201d said the ex. \u201cFifteen thousand US dollars; the year.\u201d
\n\u201cFine\u201d said X. \u201cGo for it.\u201d<\/p>\n

The daughter started jumping around and kissing him. The ex fixed him the angriest look she could muster.
\n\u201cHave you fifteen thousand dollars tucked away?\u201d
\n\u201cI was saving it for my funeral.\u201d
\n\u201cBut you won\u2019t increase child support.\u201d
\n\u201cYou make more than I do.\u201d
\n\u201cBut I have the child. You are on your own. What do you want the money for? You pay no rent, you do nothing, you just stay at home farting around. You\u2019re a waste of life.\u201d<\/p>\n

X grabbed a dish of lentil and threw it against the wall. The daughter stopped dead from jumping around. The ex shut her mouth. For a moment all you could hear was the washing machine operating.<\/p>\n

\u201cGoodbye\u201d said X. \u201cSorry for everything.\u201d<\/p>\n

~~{}~~<\/p>\n

Denial<\/strong><\/p>\n

He left the whole cake (minus a piece) on the roof of a car next to the bin. He tossed the glasses and dishes with the unicorns in the recycle bin.<\/p>\n

A girl stood and cast a look at the cake.
\n\u201cPity\u201d she said.
\nHe thought that she smiled at him.<\/p>\n

She moved forward. X made it to the super market and found himself right behind her. She was wearing a short skirt and thin tights. She was athletic. He pictured himself walking up to her and offering her a hundred Euros (or even two hundred) for one night. But it was out of his character to make such moves, he only fantasized them.<\/p>\n

He caught up with her at the traffic light. They stood side by side waiting for the light to change.
\n\u201cHave you ever been told that you look like Kirk Douglas?\u201d the girl asked him.
\nShe had blue eyes and red hair, just like the mermaid of the cake, and a nose ring.<\/p>\n

\u201cBefore or after he died?\u201d X asked her.
\nThe girl laughed and her laughter sounded like ice cubes in a glass filled with Jameson.
\n\u201cAs he was in Kubrick\u2019s Spartacus.\u201d
\n\u201cDo you know Kubrick?\u201d
\n\u201cI study filmmaking.\u201d<\/p>\n

They crossed the street together. They walked side by side. She was laughing with his jokes and it was pure music to his ears. She proposed they have a coffee pointing at a place.<\/p>\n

\u201cHere? I see only old people hanging around\u201d he told her.
\n\u201cLet\u2019s go somewhere else then.\u201d<\/p>\n

~<\/p>\n

At four o\u2019clock in the morning he was sitting on the balcony wearing but a boxer. He was feeling cold, but he was on fire. He couldn\u2019t believe that he would die. He had just met Bella, it was a sign.<\/p>\n

She was way too mature for her age. And sex with her was\u2026<\/p>\n

Bella went to the balcony door.
\n\u201cAren\u2019t you sleepy?\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019ll sleep my fill when I die\u201d said X and kissed her.<\/p>\n

~~{}~~<\/p>\n

Negotiation<\/strong><\/p>\n

He got up around noon. He got dressed quickly and left the house. He left her only a note on the table which read: \u201cI\u2019ll be back in a couple of hours. Don\u2019t go. I think I\u2019m in love\u201d. He made no mention of his condition.<\/p>\n

He went to see the doctor. He had to wait. Somebody broke their appointment and he slipped in.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat are my chances of being cured if I undergo the therapy?\u201d
\n\u201cI have already told you, very slim.\u201d
\n\u201cIf I\u2019m praying?\u201d
\n\u201cAntiscientific how it may sound, it does help.\u201d
\n\u201cIs there any God or saint with a bigger percentage of miracles? Or something like these hands and skulls they display at churches?\u201d
\n\u201cMr. Finikidis, it is good that you are jesting. The most important is that you want to live. If you believe it, if you put your heart in it, you improve your chances. If you resign, you die. It\u2019s simple logic.\u201d<\/p>\n

He made an appointment to begin with the therapy. He would work out, he would drink matcha tea, he would quit sugar and junk food, he would pray; he would do anything.<\/p>\n

He got in the house and called Bella\u2019s name. She made no response. We went to check the bedroom and then the bathroom. She was nowhere. He thought that she probably went out to buy some lingerie.<\/p>\n

Then he spotted the note on the table, but it wasn\u2019t his.
\nIt was Bella who had written:\u201dI\u2019m sorry, but that\u2019s life. I\u2019d like you to know that I was fond of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

X went to the living room. The laptop, the computer, the 40\u201d TV and the sound system were missing. His grandmother\u2019s jewelry was nowhere to be seen, too. He looked for the nest egg. Bella and her accomplices knew exactly what they were after. The money was gone.<\/p>\n

He felt dizzy. He slumped down in the nearest armchair. His guts were aching.<\/p>\n

~~{}~~<\/p>\n

Resignation<\/strong><\/p>\n

From where he stood he could see the mulberry tree outside. A few days ago the staff of the municipality had pruned it and they actually butchered it by leaving only three twigs, like the fingers of a dead man.<\/p>\n

It would take some time for the tree to be restored to its former shape. But the next spring it would be in full bloom again.<\/p>\n

Then X began to cry.
\nHe was crying when the night fell.
\nHe was crying when the story ended.<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

Sanejoker’s Facebook page:
\nhttps:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sanejoker<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Translated by Alexandros Mantas:
\nhttps:\/\/open.spotify.com\/album\/0NhHCYv4TBP5JcD9qDkuXQ<\/a><\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

You can read the original, Greek version here:<\/strong>
\n\u0397 \u03c4\u03b5\u03bb\u03b5\u03c5\u03c4\u03b1\u03af\u03b1 \u03ac\u03bd\u03bf\u03b9\u03be\u03b7 \u03c4\u03bf\u03c5 \u03ba\u03c5\u03c1\u03af\u03bf\u03c5 \u03a7\u03b9 – \u0393\u03b5\u03bb\u03c9\u03c4\u03bf\u03c0\u03bf\u03b9\u03cc\u03c2 (sanejoker.info)<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘Death is a continuation of my life without me\u2019 Jean-Paul Sartre \u2018I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens\u2019 Woody Allen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Depression He went to order his birthday cake. \u201cLemon pie with chocolate? 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