{"id":69384,"date":"2023-09-30T11:00:39","date_gmt":"2023-09-30T09:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sanejoker.info\/?p=69384"},"modified":"2023-10-01T12:13:38","modified_gmt":"2023-10-01T10:13:38","slug":"a-suicides-gospel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sanejoker.info\/en\/2023\/09\/a-suicides-gospel.html","title":{"rendered":"A suicide’s gospel"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\"\u0391\u03c5\u03c4\u03ae<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI know that each one of us travels alone to love, to faith and to death.\u201d
\n<\/strong>Yannis Ritsos<\/p>\n

\u201cOf a book full of death, reading how we\u2019ll die alone.\u201d
\n<\/strong>Chris Cornel<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

Taking notice of my dreams means I take notice of the world.<\/p>\n

The best time to learn something a little out of the ordinary, the best moment for an epiphany, is the twilight between waking and sleep.<\/p>\n

A dream that I once had led me to a revelation about my favourite singer, Chris Cornell, and a song of his, which I had listened to a thousand times.<\/p>\n

It all began when I read on the internet about a Greek actress who had already prepared her grave in Crete. Death is a subject that intrigues me a lot, so the news stuck in my mind. I fell asleep, after reading many pages of Game of Thrones, Volume II.<\/p>\n

In the twilight between waking and sleep, I dreamt the story of a man – it could have been me – who made up his mind to set up a place to die properly. So, he built a house made of stone, on a mountain overlooking the sea.<\/p>\n

The house was isolated and the man was on his own (\u201calone\u201d as Chris Cornell sings in his gospel).<\/p>\n

The bedroom looked to the west and had a main window that was facing the sea. In my dream, the man had built the house there, with this specific orientation, for one single reason.<\/p>\n

At the final moment, just before he died, he wanted to look out of the window and see something beautiful: the sun setting over the sea.<\/p>\n

He wanted to leave the world like that, watching the serenity of beauty.<\/p>\n

~~<\/p>\n

I woke up and went about my day, unable to shake off the dream. What was it trying to tell me?<\/p>\n

The dream had opened up a new passage in my mind, but I still couldn\u2019t figure out where it was leading.<\/p>\n

That night, I was on my computer and while I was working I had YouTube playing in the background. Audioslave\u2019s Like a Stone<\/em> (with lyrics by Chris Cornell) came up on the suggested videos for the thousandth time.<\/p>\n

(For those who aren\u2019t familiar with his name, Cornell had become a superstar in the music business, but he was manic depressive and suffering from bipolar disorder. He committed suicide when he was fifty years old.)<\/p>\n

The song was playing (keep in mind that I have listened to it a thousand times and have watched the video a thousand more) and then, while I was thinking of something else, I truly heard<\/em> the lyric \u2018I\u2019ll wait for you there, like a stone\u2019 for the first time.<\/p>\n

Then, I remembered: Jesus had given Peter that particular name as he would become the rock of his church (no, fear not; I\u2019m not a member of the Pentecostal \u2013 or any other- Church.<\/p>\n

Could Chris Cornell be talking about death and God in this song?<\/p>\n

Was he simply meaning \u2018I\u2019ll wait for you, like a stone\u2019?<\/p>\n

Note that Cornell makes no reference whatsoever to the Christian God, nor any other.<\/p>\n

He\u2019s just a man who\u2019s trying to figure out, as he walks from room to room, what life is, what comes next and why he should die alone. He\u2019s a man who fears death (Irvin Yalom wrote that the fear of death is a primal source of anxiety).<\/p>\n

People who commit suicide do not hold death in contempt. Quite the contrary; they are afraid to die. That\u2019s why they try to end this fear sooner, just as Cornell did (these are not just literary thoughts; read Existential Psychotherapy<\/em>).<\/p>\n

~~<\/p>\n

Sorry for making this heavy, but it\u2019s ok. If you can\u2019t bear talking and hearing about death, then it\u2019s time you grew up.<\/p>\n

Death is the second certainty. The first is life; before you die, you must first live.<\/p>\n

We make art to defeat our fears, to become better people, to nourish our souls and to die with smiles on our faces.<\/p>\n

~~~<\/p>\n

Listen to this song, keeping in mind that it is a gospel.<\/p>\n

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<\/p>\n

Sanejoker\u2019s Facebook Page:
\nhttps:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sanejoker<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

<\/b>Translated by Alexandros Mantas:
\nhttps:\/\/open.spotify.com\/album\/0NhHCYv4TBP5JcD9qDkuXQ<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n